1. Turn bike into shop down the street this afternoon and hope it can start again in time to be sold because Christ is this fucking thing not going away without a fight.
2. Eagerly await Max Booth III’s new book which should be arriving by mail ANY FUCKING DAY NOW.
3. Apologize to roommates for being an insufferable twit in a brief moment of less-than-genuine clemency in order to get one of them to clean their dog’s mess in the bathroom which I skipped by this morning because I am lazy.
4. Objectively evaluate both sides of punching-Nazis-argument in order to complete possible political piece on time.
5. Immediately regret typing that on blog because of inevitable incendiary comment section that has avoided me so far.
6. Complete second chapter (or part, since it’s kind of long) of Book by weekend.
7. Enjoy Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups in fridge and push blame onto “intuitive eating.”
1. Lay in bed unable to sleep knowing I will pass out in a half hour and be up way too early yet again.
2. Fill shopping cart on Amazon with enough to wipe out gift card.
3. Have first glass of milk in a month. Not lactose intolerant, just have to be in a mood for it.
1. Accept that potential column in Magazine has been rejected on aesthetic grounds without falling into rabbit hole of self-pity (the one so prevalent within you these days) because they’re open to the occasional piece by you.
2. Attempt to explain to roommate why you were cleaning your medical shoe insoles with an old toothbrush in the kitchen sink and grimacing the entire time.
3. Prepare for civil trial coming up in five days without either collapsing under pressure and getting nothing done nor overpreparing to the point where you humiliate yourself that day and can’t answer anything.
4. Call Health Insurance People and see if you do indeed have health insurance and if not then why the fuck not and also why haven’t they told you shit.
5. Continue drafting next flash which really shouldn’t’ve taken this long and will hopefully not turn out to be a complete piece of shit worthy of immediate rejection and public scorn.
6. Draft next blog post because you’re sure everyone is tired of having to see these things back to back to back and are wondering if this hasn’t just become an empty void to shout into hoping for a meek response.
7. Eat lunch once roommate is done burning frozen pizza and it’s 2:30 in the afternoon, a time when most people eat lunch.
8. Decide what to eat for lunch.
9. Hey, The Book is a thing that exists, you should get on that.
1. Got out of bed today.
1. Realize first piece of flash of the year is an absolute piece of shit without slipping into pit of despair.
2. Continue drafting The Book which you haven’t done in like three days and don’t forget to fix up that subplot.
3. Start another story that hopefully isn’t an absolute piece of shit in order to not fall into pit of despair.
4. Cash paycheck on way home tomorrow so you can buy food and afford to have someone else fix your hair later on in the week (we both know you’re in over your head when it comes to the stuff on top of your head right now).
5. Additional quick-fire piece for optioned column.
1. Post additional ads to finally sell the fucking $600 motorized paperweight in my backyard.
2. Yelled at landlord’s dog for shitting outside your door last week yet again, knowing damn well she’ll just do it out of spite and she has no sense of right or wrong or consequence because she is a dog and dogs are stupid but we love them apparently.
3. Find out which roommate fucked with the thermostat (not putting on blast because it was an accident).
4. Plan books to be read once done with books being read now.
5. Snack yourself to death at three thirty in the morning while taking German lesson on Duolingo.